Some messages to people of the past (Those of which feel unresolved and that seemed to dissolve wrongly which I cannot seem to be able to get in contact with now or lost along the way that I actually care to speak on)

Marian

You were a close friend to me when I was young. But unfortunately it did not last. It’s sad that you could not see the potential, if things were in the right place. I think something happened and you changed at some point sadly. Having stayed connected and conversing, I don’t see how we would have had any problems. Even retroactively, if you had maintained the same mind and heart, it’d have worked out fine. I only grew with time. It’s likely that you went the opposite way at some point, or got lost or manipulated by people, I cannot know. Something happened, or you were never quite the way i had thought to begin with. But I know you were very similar.

You meant a lot to me, and I value all of the time we shared together. It will not be forgotten.

I understand when things went off course when I went back home from Austria, but things could have been resolved speaking to me once I got back on track and grew further. There were no real conversations or attempts. It was more just disinterest and throw away like many people have done, but I did not expect that from you. Some people in this life actually continue to grow and never stop growing and care to do so.

Oh well, it happens in life. It’s just a disappointment.and a shame it was wasted.

What an amazing story we shared to have connected in 99 in the early stages of the internet world connectivity. I was just 15 or so, and the liklihood of meeting my best friend in a chat room for a band we both liked, to share our music together and speak every day, and to eventually end up in Austria in the band with you, etc. Its unfortunate you could not understand the amount of pain i was in to actually even do that, and right after i had quit opioids entirely and was adjusting without any cannabis at all since it was incredibly difficult to find there and nobody cared but myself to make sure i had that - it was necessary to manage the pains i had especially without the opioids and recovering from years of abuse. But yeah, just not much compassion or understanding there at all, or why i would behave the way i did not being as enthusiastic as id normally be, etc. Its easy for me to understand.

Anyway, Evoke the Self to this day is one of my favorite albums. You are lucky you were able to record that and complete it. It is a beautiful album and very authentic and melodic in ways that only I would write myself. Such artists like Thrice, yourself, myself, and others connected in some strange way. Theres something at the roots that are connected, or we have some sort of strange connection to the ether or other senses that allowed for something greater, in my opinion anyway.

Peace and Love, Always.

I hope you are well.

Goodbye my Friend.

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Girl that I cannot remember the name of….When I first moved to my apartment and was still not well (Im sorry i cannot remember your name!) You did mma. I still have your letter to me, but I forgot your name and contact info or else id have apologized for my angry behavior at the time. It wasnt like horrible of me or something, but I was in the wrong for sure and it was my fault we did not continue talking. Maybe it would not have worked out anyhow, even just as friends. But I know there was potential there and Im sorry it ended that way.